Do I truly deserve the epitaph, “SHE LIVED”, when I finally take a bow from this thing we call life?
Have I truly lived?
Am I living a lie?
Is life worth living if one’s always scared to take a leap of faith and constantly gives too many unnecessary fucks?
These are some of the questions that have plagued my mind these past few weeks.
I watched my mum battle stage IV endometrial cancer and lost. I swam in a sea of bankruptcy. I nursed hangovers while tending to the wounds of a broken heart…These are small tidbits of some “adulting experiences” that have brought me to this point in time, questioning my life’s existential existence.
My born day was 50 days ago, which also happened to be my proverbial “New Year”. And like all “normal sapiens” seated on a Yellow Couch, I took a toll on my past year.
I’ve established what needs offloading and onboarding by looking through my “wannabe-to-do-list” for the new year, which I usually don’t see to fruition, by the way. Through no fault of my own, but my flawed human nature that keeps failing me repeatedly.
As I sat on that Yellow Couch, somewhere in “Suburbia Mumbai”, I reflected on my life experiences. Two weeks of no television or any other form of gadgets and electronics. And for your information, I don’t recommend anyone doing this sober; liquid courage is a prerequisite…I realized that I’d been a spectator to my life series.
30+ years of “lifeperiences” under my belt, and I haven’t been the protagonist in my own book of life? And why the “sudden” realization on this Yellow Couch?
My current “life circumstances” ain’t at par with the “normal sapiens ideal living scenarios”. The episodes in my life series have gotten dull, boring, unfulfilling, and quite frankly depressing, and need an immediate new lease of life.
I need to switch the script and perhaps change the cast, too🤔 — I promise to only get divorced and remarried once this year🤞 NOT! (In Borat’s voice) 😂
New year, new beginnings, a fresh start, and a clean slate.
This “New Year”, I resort to only taking on four resolutions:
1. Going back to school to avoid paying student loans — Hola French Diploma🖐
2. Developing daredevil skills such as licking frozen flag poles after skydiving😈
3. Looking for investors and fundraising for my “home office” business venture🤑
4. Speaking in fluent sarcasm and hiring an assistant to my selfier🤳
My resolutions are “beyond lit” this time around, and I’m looking forward to seeing them through. But, thanks to that Yellow Couch in Suburbia Mumbai, I became a cynic and learnt the art of adopting The VERB Resolution and not The NOUN Resolution.
Cheers, m’dears!
PS: Self-Satirizing purposes only
